first day of school jitters...

Student in Front of Map Premium Poster

my school bag is all packed.

it is waiting by the front door.

directions are printed, and my last purchase i needed to make for class was made this morning.

physically i am ready for class.

emotionally, i feel exactly as i did the first day of high school.  scared, alone, and kind of sick to my stomach. 

saturday my sweet mama will come watch asher while matthew works so i can head out to my first day of class. 

i wonder if i will be the oldest girl in class.  i wonder if the other kids will snicker and whisper, as i did at the older ladies in class my first time around.

i wonder if i will be smart enough.  i wonder if i can still learn, or if the age old saying is true... "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"

i will miss playing with asher and watching football on the couch matthew.

i will have to put on real clothes and do my hair and make-up, something i am not accustomed to doing on the weekends. 

it will be hard.  for 4 weeks i will be gone from 7-6 on both saturday and sunday sitting in class.  then for 2 more weeks i will be gone from 5-7 both saturday and sunday running around on my feet doing hands on training.  i will not have a day off for the next 6 weeks.

i will most surely be tired.  i will definitely neglect my chores.  i am sure we will eat take out, making money tighter, nerves edgier, and asses growing. 

but i chose this. 

i choose to go back to school.

i choose to be scared and uncomfortable and feel like an idiot. 

i choose this because this is the first step of an accomplished dream. 

i choose this because i would want my son to accomplish his own... and someday while i am telling him he can be whoever he wants to be, he can do whatever he wants to do, with work and determination and time he can make his dreams come true.  i don't want to hear his voice chime back "why didn't you?"

i choose this because it is what i believe will be best for my family in the near future, even if the short term is hard. 

i choose this because if i have to work, i should be happy with what i do.

i choose this because i have an amazing husband who will support me, and family who believes in me. 

i choose this because in this, i believe i will find a better me.

so saturday, with all the nervousness in the world, with fear and discomfort, and maybe a few glares, i will take the first step of this journey, i will be in college again.

Nurses and Hospitals, UK, 1950 Premium Poster


  1. 1. 6 weeks is nothing. it will fly by
    2. you don't have to do your hair or makeup and wear real clothes you're going back to school not to a job interview
    3.nobody's gonna laugh at you nobody will even talk to each other for at least 2 weeks
    4. i can fill you in on the football
    5. you'll be fine :)

  2. SarahAnne16:05

    Go, Melinda, Go! :)
    It's actually "fun" being older and going to class ... you have a different life perspective and know what is really important :)
    Love you!

  3. Melinda! It will go by really fast, and you will be very thankful in the future. I really wish I had finished my degree and worked part time while my kids were growing up. I also wish I had gotten a nursing degree instead of a retail degree. I could be working with a midwife right now. oh well... life goes on.

    I hope all your dreams come true!

  4. I am so proud of you.

    Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

    ~A. A. Milne

  5. Anonymous18:22

    I have told you for 27, almost 28 years that you are smart, beautiful and have Jesus with can do anything!!!!!

  6. Axelle the french reader05:03

    As Donna, my first thought was : she must be proud of herself ! That's a huge challenge and I'm sure you'll succeed.
    You're GREAT !!!!!!!
    And think of that : 6 weeks to become a nurse in USA, 3 years in france ...
    I'm sure you'll those weeks differently, now ;))
    Go, Melinda !!

  7. Where are you going to school and what for? I am so behind on your life. You need to come over or I will invite myself over to your place.

  8. axelle, i am first taking a nurse assistant course that takes 6 weeks. after that it will be 2 more years to be a nurse, 1 more year to be registered nurse. this working mama, has to take things one tiny step at a time.

    holly, come over friday? just don't stay too late, because i have to wake up for class on saturday.

  9. Melinda,
    I went back to school fulltime to finish my degree when I was 27. I didn't have kids, but I was married, and I still had to work...most weeks required more than I could possibly do, but I have never regretted it. And whoever said that it would fly by was right. Not on Sunday night when you are exhausted and looking at the work week and missing your guys, but when you look back and have a job you want and more flexibility with hours and better pay. It will be sooooooo worth it.

    Hope it is going well. You have my prayers,


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