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TV was easier

For years I have been lamenting over how every moment of every day was filled with kids, and chores, and work, and school, and having to pretend.  For years I have been craving time to myself.Any time.Even if only in moments.

But I wasn’t being honest with myself. The time, it did come.Even if only in moments.  There were times when the house was quiet, and the lights low.  The glow of the salt lamp on, the hum and scent of the diffuser filling the air.I could do whatever I want.  I thought about putting on music that made me breathe deeply, made me think, made me feel.  I thought about my hands holding a book, the words seeping through my skin and into my veins.  I thought of glasses of good red wine and baths so hot your skin stings.I thought about being alone with my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams, my fears.  I thought about all those notes on my phone that are filled with ideas.  Things to write, things to get out.  Things that need to be written, things that need to get out.  Thin…

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