part two...

two days ago i had huge aspirations for myself. i was going to bathe the baby, bathe myself, take him to his 2 week check up, and finish this blog post... 3 out 4... not bad.

today, my one goal... to get this blog post finished.

healing from surgery and taking care of a newborn has proven to be a little difficult. my entire day is spent waiting for his next feeding. and that's okay... i am loving every minute. he is the most precious baby i have ever seen, and i can't believe the love i feel for him.

i can't believe that 2 weeks ago right now, he was not here. 2 weeks ago from right now, i was walking circles in the maternity ward, stopping every couple minutes breathe through the pain. i was not a mom, and asher was still a dream. just 2 weeks ago.

monday morning (2 weeks ago) i woke up still pregnant. i grumbled, and maybe swore, and prayed quickly for peace and direction and that i would go into labor before the day ended. then i got out of bed and went to drink my daily coke and take my prenatal vitamin. as i stood in the middle of kitchen, i suddenly had the urge... if i didn't move right that moment, i was going to pee all over the floor. so i wobbled my way to the bathroom, where i immediately peed and when i stood... i just keep peeing... "oh my gosh, i think my water just broke. did my water break?..." my mind was racing, and i wondered if i could be right... i wondered if my water could have broken. i changed my pants, and ran down the stairs to google "water breaking" a few clicks later, i was sure... and i stood up to go call matthew. as i stood up, niagara falls gushed from between my legs. i laughed. "sick, gross, disgusting... oh my gosh, this is happening. i am going into labor. oh my gosh, i am going to be a mom today..." i laughed again. my hands were shaking. i was thinking about all the old wives tales about inducing labor, and about all the walking i did the day before at the air show. i was also thinking about the sunburn gracing both arms, both legs, face, chest, and feet. it was the worst sunburn i ever had, and the second worst sunburn i have ever seen (holly's sunburn on her honeymoon wins first place. worst ever sunburn) as i dialed matthews cell number, i couldn't help but think about my sunburn. "great, now i am going to have this stupid sunburn pain on top of labor pain. why didn't i put on sunscreen?" no answer. i hung up and dialed again. no answer. repeat 26 times. still no answer. send 12 texts. no answer. call matt's work, no answer. i began to think that i would have to drive myself to the hospital. i was starting to get mad. dial his cell 10 more times, send another 5 texts, try work again... finally a person. "may i talk to matthew boucher please?" "uh, yah, hold on a sec... is this his wife?" "yes it is." "are you in labor?" "uh... um... well... i might be." "hold on, i'll go grab him" i hear yelling and hoops and hollers in the background. and then matthew. he left work right away. i stuck a towel between my legs and tried to pick up the house a little. i called my mom and mother in law. this was it. we were going to have a baby. matthew got home from work and made me breakfast. we hugged, and smooched, and laughed a little. i showered and straightened my hair and put on makeup. this might be the last time i put myself together in a long time. i was going into this looking my best.

at 9 o'clock, we moved the packed hospital bags and baby carrier into the car, and were on our way. we drove the the hospital in a dream state... it didn't quite feel real. they caught me on my way in the door and made me sit in a wheelchair up to the 2nd floor. i was mortified. i can walk, my water broke, not my legs. every person who talked to us gave us an early congratulations. i thought that was weird. really... this could end not idealy. maybe you should save the congratulations until after you know everything is fine, until congratulations are really in order. we entered the maternity ward, our plan of natural childbirth fully intact. the nurses ask that question almost first thing. "are you planning on using medical pain relief?" "no. we are planning on a natural birth." every person we talked to asked us the same question. contractions had not started yet, and procedure said they needed to test to see if my amniotic fluid was actually leaking, or if i had just been peeing on my self for the last 4 hours. i laid on a bed in a backless hospital gown, as they did test after test to see if i was leaking fluid. the first two tests said it wasn't amniotic fluid. i was so annoyed, i could spit. "i leaked through two pairs of pants and 2 bath towels this morning, i am pretty sure my water broke. i am pretty sure i know the difference between urine coming from my pee hole, and fluid gushing from my vagina. it's a little different" the nurse was not impressed. and 3 hours later, they finally decided that my waster really had broken, and finished admitting me. it had been almost 6 hours since my water broke, and we were bored.

contractions had still not really started... tiny little contractions, i didn't really notice, but nothing to really start labor. the nurses were so nice and accommodating, i couldn't have been happier. my nurse said she needed to go check with the doctor what our next step would be. my water had broken 6 hours ago, and labor had still not started. once your water breaks the countdown begins. the baby has about 24 hours to make it out of the body before medical risks rise. the baby needs that amniotic fluid to keep him safe and healthy. the nurse came back in with some bad news. "well... i am waiting for a call back from dr besse. dr sullivan is on vacation." i froze. i imagine my eyes were as big as coal. "oh great." was all i could muster. i loved my doctor. dr sullivan got me. she understood what i wanted. we had discussed a million things about my pregnancy, my labor, my delivery. she knew my plan, she knew what i wanted out of this labor, what i was expecting. who is dr besse? i don't know him. the nurses promised me he was so nice, and great dr. what was i gonna do? cest la vie. we diddled and doddled, and were really bored. we just wished i would have this baby already. nobody told us labor would be so boring. matthew and i flipped channels on the tv, and my mom sat quietly in the corner.

soon, the nurse returned, iv bag in hand. one nurse started getting the iv port ready in my hand, while the other began hanging a bag of unknown fluid on the iv stand. "uh... what's that?" they kind of ignored me. "what is that bag of fluid you are going to put in me?" "oh, it's just fluid, sugar water, to keep you hydrated." they mumbled something about it being routine, and blah blah blah. i wasn't listening. i didn't want an iv. matthew and i had read lots of books, and done lots of research, and we knew we wanted a natural childbirth. i did not want fluid. i could sip water. "i'm not dehydrated, why do i need that?" they nurse left to call the doctor to see if we could skip the fluid. she came back and said, "for now dr besse says you can sip water, and chew crushed ice. he said we can skip the fluid for now. if you do change your mind... and do want an epidural, you have to have a whole bag of that fluid in your system, and that can take about an hour. so remember that further on" yah yah yah. we weren't going to need that... my body could do this all on its own. we were sure of that. an hour later, my contractions had still not started, and they were throwing around the word pitocin. i knew i needed to start labor, but pitocin would mean an iv, and limited mobility. i wanted to be able to walk. another call to the doctor, and the nurses came back in saying they would try something else to get labor started. a tiny little pill they insert in, against the cervix. as soon as they insert it, i have to lay still for 2 hours... and then i can start walking. the nurses insisted labor would come on pretty strong after they placed they pill, and that i could order something to eat and get up for a little while before they placed it. i changed into my own nightgown, ate a grilled chicken sandwich from the cafeteria, and walked a few rounds around the maternity ward. about an hour later the nurse came in to insert the pill and i tried to lay back and sleep. it was about 3 o'clock.

i woke up an hour and half later, to contractions i could actually feel... after two hours, they detached me from my monitors and matthew and i began to walk. we walked around and around around, stopping every minuted to breathe through the contractions. i would lean up against my husband, and he would hold me. i would close my eyes, and empty my mind, and just breathe. matthew would kiss my head, and stroke my hair, rub my back, tell me he loved me. and in a minute, it would be over and we would continue our walk. when i got tired, we would go lay down. when i needed water, he would hold my water bottle for me. the contractions were getting stronger, and i was getting more tired. my mom and mother in law wondered at how calm how i was, and well i was doing, while we sat through another shift change. we were on nurse number 3. they assigned stacy to me because she loved natural childbirth. she was a doll. she got there at 7. contractions were getting stronger, and the baby was still doing great. when they checked me, we were shocked to hear that i was still only 2-3 cm dilated, and only 50% effaced. the baby was still very high. she recommended inserting another dose of the pill. the first dose didn't quite get labor started as strongly as they had hoped. she made me a peanut butter and jelly, and told me to walk for a little while. she said she would be back in to insert the second dose in a little while. she came back, and i tried to sleep for a couple hours again. then we started walking again. matthew and i wandered the halls, i depended on him, i leaned on him, he stroked my head, and rubbed my shoulders. i emptied my mind and breathed through the contractions. i was tired. exhausted. wished i could sleep... but the pain wasn't killing me. it was manageable. and with matthew by my side, it seemed almost easy. she checked me again. 5 cm, still 50% effaced, it seemed the baby was not descending. we kept walking. my mom, my mother in law, and matthew taking turns walking with me in the hallway. in between walks i rocked on the birthing ball. i could have rocked on that thing all day. the contractions were intense while i was walking, and seemed to dissipate on the ball. when i was lying down, they were almost non existent. a couple hours later, she came to check me again. 6 cm, 60% effaced, the baby was still very high. there was a tiny bag of water by the babies head that had not ruptured. she thought it was keeping the baby from descending, and she was able to rupture it with her fingers while checking my cervix. we all thought this would accelerate labor quickly, now that the baby was free descend. a few minutes later the doctor came to check me. he said she was right. he agreed with everything she said. as long as i was still progressing, he said we could just continue as is. i was exhausted. she said she would be back in an hour and a half to check me again. i crawled into bed and tried to rest. the contractions continued, not as intense. and i was able to sleep and rest. at about 3am when she checked me again, i had made no progression. a quick call to the doctor, and she was back in to talk to me. he wanted to start pitocin. she was so sweet, explaining to me why we needed to start it now, and how i wasn't failing just because i had to have pitocin, but that we were doing what was best for the baby. i knew we were running out of time. i knew we needed to try to get labor started, or else we would end up in the operating room in a few short hours. matthew looked concerned in the corner, and i shed a few tears... but we knew that we had no choice. we had to see if the pitocin would start labor...

to be continued...


  1. Anonymous15:34

    Ouch, pitocin...hope you did not end up needing it, but it does work!

    Glad you are feeling better now and that Asher is here!

    love and prayers, jep

  2. I had to be induced with both of mine. The first time was very difficult and the second time 5 years later was so much easier.

    I love hearing birth stories! Birth is a miracle every time.

    Congrats again on becoming a mom. Asher is a beauty.


  3. Anonymous22:11

    Heavens! I am feeling sympathy labor pains for you- and I am 53!
    Can't wait for part 3!

  4. Anonymous01:47

    oh man you left me on the edge of my seat! I love the way you write (I know I've said it before!); it's so natural and I just get swept up in what I'm reading!
    Anyway, I'm so touched by how Matthew was so supportive during labor. I'm afraid of what comes next in the story though, just because of my own experiences with evil Pitocin. But I guess sometimes it's a necessary evil! And we all know you had a happy ending, thank God!

  5. AHH leaving me hanging again!! I love reading about your birth! It is soo interesting! I was there just one year ago! I was induced with pitocin and wanted to go natural but ended up with an epidural and a big baby... Can't wait to hear the rest of your story! I hope you are thoroughly enjoying being at home with your sweet boy! It goes by way to fast!

  6. thanks for giving a shoutout to my sunburn of yesteryear - it deserves credit where credit is due.

    i am amazed at how calmly you handled the entirety of Asher's birth. you are a much stronger woman than a lot of us!

  7. my beloved OB broke my water for me with Ezra.. induced a 6 am one wednesday because my BP was high.

    an hour later, she came in, and said 'i have to go. i have started throwing up and I have the stomach flu..' at which point she ran off to heave in the corner.

    um, ok.. i mean, of course, go home. um. eek.

    she sent in the dr on call who had delivered the babies of several of my friends. he was sweet and kind. but it's like 'nice to meet you' with his head between my legs.


    can't wait to hear part 3!


Post a Comment

Popular Posts