nerves of steel...

tomorrow is my doctor appointment.

the one where they will do an ultrasound to see how asher is doing, because they seem to be a little concerned.

the one where i have to have my glucose test. i will have to drink, what i hear, is really terrible and have some nurse stab me with a needle and extract blood from my body.

matthew will be with me this time. to ask questions. and hold my hand. and hopefully not pass out when they stick me with a needle.

i decided to take the whole day off work tomorrow. i won't arrive to the doctor rushed, and stressed, and looking ragged form a long day at work. i will arrive peaceful, and relaxed, and sure. and maybe a little queasy.

for 4 weeks i have thought of every possible outcome of these tests, and i have worried, and stressed, and wondered what i will do. i have prayed, and thought, and felt peace.

and ultimately i will be going into my appointment tomorrow knowing God is in control and i am not. and i feel like everything with both asher and i are fine.

i know everything must be fine. i feel him move all the time. tiny tumbles and dives and rolling around. and i am starting to feel hard kicks. they startle me, they make me shake from within. i like to think they are his little gestures to show me he is okay. to let me know he is there and everything is fine. and i like feeling him move... i like feeling him alive and growing in me. i love that little booger already. and no matter what happens tomorrow... i will love him the same.

but still... i would appreciate your prayers tomorrow as i head to the doctor. pray for peace for me, and understanding for both matthew and i. i can already feel the effects of prayers.


  1. Anonymous21:49

    I am praying for you and Asher. Just remember that God loves you and I love you. BTW the orange drink for the test doesn't taste to bad, but put it in the fridge tonight so it is nice and cold when you drink it. I thought it tasted like orange pop, but I am weird. :)

    Text me when you get some answers please! Isaiah said that he loves his Auntie Melinda!

    Love, Becky Gelkey

  2. Becky's right: that drink is not as bad as they chalk it up to be.

    Steve and I will be thinking of you and hoping for great news.

  3. Anonymous04:16

    Yeah the drink is bearable, just think of the long line of women who have done it before you and will do it after you. It helps me to think that way...a community of strong women doing what we need to do. It's good practice for mothering that's for sure!
    I'm heading to bed now after instant messaging with my sis til far too late, but before I go to sleep I will pray for you and Matthew and Asher. Please let us know how it goes.

  4. Prayed for you today... I hope you found out good things and got beautiful pictures of that sweet baby.


Post a Comment

Popular Posts