a thought, a prayer, some fun...

there is something, that i was not sure i wanted to share in blog world. i didn't really want to share it with anyone. i wanted to keep it tight knit between matthew and i, and our family. safe and secure and closed. but i changed my mind. i changed my mind, because i saw how donna's blog family and friends surrounded her in support and prayer when she needed it. i saw the community that blogging can be. and i decided to share.

i have been going to my prenatal appointments every 4 weeks. they have been so uneventful and quick and kind of boring. i wonder what i am even going in for. i wait for 20 minutes, they call me back, weigh me, have me pee in a cup, take my blood pressure, i wait about 5 minutes for the doctor. she checks the baby's heartbeat, she measures my uterus, and asks me if i have any questions. that's it. the end. i go home.

at my last appointment i was expecting more of the same. i told matthew to stay at home, i could take this one on my own. turns out... i kind of needed him there. when the doctor came in she looked over my chart. she announces to me, "the next time you come in we are going to do an ultrasound..." and then my brain kind of turned to mush and what i heard was, "low levels... kidneys... make sure he's growing okay... i am not too concerned... even just a little bit higher, there is not a lot of concern... but we need to monitor." i flaked out. i didn't catch what she was telling me, except that there might be something wrong. i needed matthew there... to ask questions, to interpret what she was saying to me, because the second i knew something wasn't right... i went numb.

i came home and tried to interpret what she said. what she was saying was that there is some concern because the level of amniotic fluid is low. low amniotic fluid levels can mean lots of things... or it can mean nothing. it could mean there is a problem with the baby's kidney function. it could mean that the baby could be growth restricted. it could be a problem with the placenta. if low levels continue, it can effect how the baby develops. it can not protect him like it supposed to form trauma or infection. it could require an early delivery or c-section, if it continues through out the pregnancy. it could mean nothing. it could just be that at that moment, the levels were low for some reason.

when i go in for my appointment of june 10th, i will have another ultrasound so they can monitor both asher and me. my mind has been reeling, and concern has been there. but i have also felt peace. i know it is not in my hands, it is in the hands of someone who knows much better than me. matthew and i have been praying. praying that when i go in on june 10th everything looks normal, and there is no further reason for concern. praying that both asher and i are growing stronger and healthier day by day. praying for peace for my busy heart and mind. and i could really use your prayers too.

20 questions...

1. when you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
yamma hamma.

2. do you miss anyone right now?
i miss jennifer and april and lizzie. i miss them most days.

3. if you could move anywhere else, would you?
i would move most places if the opportunity arose. matthew would not. i don't know where that leaves us.

4. if you could choose, what would your last meal be?
a medium rare fillet, lobster tail, runza extra crispy french fries, green beans and bacon, pineapple, my moms brownies, an ice cold coke. that is a lot of food... don't judge.

5. what famous person, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with?
yikes... um... i don't know. i was never good at picking favorites, do i have to choose just one?

6. what was the last book you read?
besides pregnancy and birth and baby books... i am reading my life in france by julia child right now.

7. what was the last movie you watched?
enough was on tv on last night. i watched it. i like it when j-lo beats the crap out of the creep. is that weird?

8. what was the last song you heard?
matthew was just playing... in a big country, by big country. don't ask.

9. what is your dream vacation?
anywhere with matthew... i would love to go to paris again. we really want to go to greece. we went to san antonio on our honeymoon, that was fun.

10. what is the next trip you will take?
we will be going to wisconsin for christmas... that is a long time away from now.

11. did you ever go to camp?
yes. i loved camp. except one year i went to camp a day late... that was the worst week of my life.

12. have you ever been in love?
i married him. i am still in love with him.

13. what do you want to know about the future?
i think i will stick to not knowing. it is too scary.

14. where is your best friend?
my husband? sitting in his recliner. my lizzie? denver... where she lives.

15. how is your best friend?
matthew looks tired. lizzie... right this second, i don't know... i hope happy and safe and well.

16. who is the biggest gossiper you know?
besides me? haha...

17. what does your last text message say?
"Really!!!" makes you wonder, doesn't it...

18. what are 3 things you've always wanted to do, that you still plan to accomplish?
finish college, become a mom, write a book

19. what is one thing you learned from your parents?
the importance of prayer. to love myself for who i am. that is 2, not 1.

20. what is one thing you hope to teach to your own children?

to love themselves for who they are, for who God created them to be. to love others above themselves.

take time to answer a couple of these in the comments, or on your own blog... i would love to hear what you have to say.

have a blessed friday, and a great holiday weekend!


  1. melinda,

    I'm so glad you shared this. I hope everything is ok w/asher. I was just thinking about him today(is that weird?) It's terrifying not being a doctor and having no idea what they're talking about.

    On my last appointment when I was pregnant, they told me I had to go to the hospital right away and they rigged me up to some monitoring machine and I thought the worst. It's horrible that period of not knowing. But in the meantime, I'm sure all of your blog readers will be thinking of you and hoping the best for you and the blossoming Boucher family.

    And on June 10th you'll know exactly what it was and maybe it's nothing. And if it's something, you are one of the strongest women I know and you have a way with handling things gracefully that are out of your control.

  2. Anonymous00:52

    I'm so glad God is giving you peace even amidst your worry for Asher. I will definitely pray for your sweet boy!

  3. even though its difficult don't stress cause it's not good for the baby and remember that doctors like to freak out patients for no reason.

  4. I've been there through scary pregnancy times, I will pray for you as one who has been there and remembers what it feels like. On a more fun note, I'd love to play 20 questions and plan to put it up over at my blog.

  5. Oh melinda. I am praying for you for sure! I don't want to tell you what to feel, but I do want to remind you that it's ok to worry or be afraid. You wouldn't be a mother if you weren't constantly worrying and thinking about the welfare of little Asher. You know God is in control and whatever is happening is His design, a little anxiety isn't going to change that! Your faith is too strong to let it get out of control anyways! I'm always hear. I'll always listen to any thing you want to talk about! Praying for you! Oh and I want to take Zach to Paris too. I want that romantic vacation with him that I had to share with you and Brad and Becky the first time! Haha. Love ya!

  6. Sweet Melinda - I am awed and proud that while your mind is reeling your spirit is at peace. I pray that you will continue in His peace and that Asher will continue to grow big and strong!
    20 Questions:
    1)time for a dye job
    2) my mom and dad
    3) the beach
    4) Grilled rare tuna steak, grilled asparagus, baked sweet potato and homemade coconut cake
    5) Eleanor Roosevelt
    6) Summer on Blossom Street by debbie Maccomber
    7) An Education
    8) Bach's Brandenburg Concertos
    9) Ireland or Greece
    10) Topsail Island, NC July
    11) lots of church camps!
    12) yes
    13) dont want to know!
    14) in heaven
    15) happy with Jesus
    16) Sandra
    17) Mom, what's for dinner?
    18) publish my book, go to Ireland, finish my house
    19) Jesus never fails, live a life of integrity

  7. gina11:22

    I am praying...
    No worries...
    1) Looked at myself in the mirror, thought "I am getting OLD!"
    2)I miss my mom, my husband, and my best friend
    3) To the country, or to Boston
    4)last meal: Mint chocolate chip ice cream cake, a good cappuccino, extra foam, a big mac, my mom's spinach cakes, good fries...
    No apologies for it being alot :)
    5) Dinner with Sting
    6)Last book: A textbook
    7)Movie: Babies
    8)My son playing hotel california on guitar
    10)a business trip
    11) Dance camp
    12) many a time...or maybe just once..
    14) at work
    15) hopefully ok
    16) my husband's friends wife...
    17)loved nybg - thanks for the suggestion
    18)Ph.D., watch my son grow, write a book
    19)education is never wasted
    20)The same thing you want to teach your precious child...although you said it better...

    You are going to be one fantastic mom!

  8. MS - my Ezra had the EXACT same issue - i had low fluid, his kidneys were a little 'off'. It worked itself off at about the same point in the pregnancy, but i never got over the worry. I know that knowing someone else has been there doesn't take away your worries, but be assured that you're not alone. you're loved, and i've been praying for your and Asher daily - and now I can get specific!

    I answered the 20 over at the QLCS. Good distraction for the day!

    Blessings... and, especially, PEACE.

  9. Sarah11:47

    Praying for you and Matthew to have peace from worry, for Asher to grow healthy and strong and for the rest of your pregnancy to go happily and smoothly. - Sarah

  10. i answered your fun questions: http://neuenkim.blogspot.com/

    blessings on your pregnancy...

  11. I will be praying for your little guy!

  12. Axelle14:41

    When I was pregnant of my first child, and I announced it at my job, a friend of mine told me :
    "You're going to be a mother ??!! Thats' GREAT !!! ... That's the beginning of your worries !! ... During the pregnancy, you'll be afraid to lose him or to discover an illness, then, when he'll be born, you'll be scared of each illness of his childhood, then you'll be scared when he'll start to walk, then you'll be scared when he'll go at school for the first time, then he will be 14 years old and you'll still be scared about his friends and his clothes !! ... Then he'll be 18 years old and you'll be scared about drugs, fast cars, alcohool, girls or boys ...etc ... CONGRATULATIONS, MY FRIEND ! You just come in the mother's wolrd !!! ... I hope you've got a stomach in metal !! ..."
    It was so weird to hear all that ... But believe me, even and thanks God, there're GREAT and NUMEROUS moments of joy and share, and love... To be a parent means that you just came in a scary world ;-))

    I 'll think of you, Melinda Sue and don't be too anxious. If it would have been very important, I think doctors would have kept you at hospital !
    Very friendly,

  13. Jennifer15:38

    Love you and praying for you and 20 questions is too many for this attention span of mine but I really miss you too and I wish I was there with you

  14. thank you all for playing agin, and for all your thoughts and prayers. i can feel the prayers. thank you! you all are the beast!

  15. Late to the party as usual, but praying for little Asher (who has such a cool name.) May his kidneys be 100% a-okay and you have peace amidst the waiting.

    Di from QLCS


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