New House, Moving Houses Property Magazine, UK, 1935
matthew and i have been starting to house search.
we have met with the realtor 3 times now, and i am already losing sleep.
it seems house hunting is not for the faint of heart, the lazy, or the change resistant.
we are so ready to have a place to call our own, a home, a place we can live and be us.
we want the dream... a home to grow old in, where our kids can grow and learn, where we can have barbecues and dinner parties, where we can dream and live and play. where we can relax and not worry. we don't want to buy a house, we want to buy a home.
we want what is just barely out of our reach...
we are grasping, but unable to reach.
and isn't that just so human, to want what is just out of our grasp...
and it so easy to lose faith, to lose hope.
i am debbie downer.
and i am married to donnie downer. it is a lethal combination.
it is easy to forget who is in control.
it is easy to "if only".
why is it harder to trust, to have faith, to allow yourself to dream, and believe that dream can come true.
why is it easier to turn to the freezer for comfort, than it is to turn Heavenward.
why is it easier to give up and think negatively, than to believe in a God of miracles. a God who made the lame walk and the blind see, who raised the dead, and who can change man's heart.
why can i not have the faith of abraham...
why do i stray so easily...
why am i constantly battling myself...
why am i so... so... human?
"Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time."
"As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight
"Faith is the conviction that God knows more than we do about this life and He will get us through it."
Max Lucado, He Still Moves Stones
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11; NIV
i believe in a God of miracles, i believe in a God who knows me better than myself, i believe in a God who is in control... and i believe he will take care of us. i believe He has a plan, a future, a hope for us.
now i just have to believe it even in every moment of doubt.
Artist's Garden in Argenteuil