fell, hit head, cracked, and bleeding... but recovering.

today. was. weigh. in. day. do you want to bad news? or the good news? you want both. good because that is what i am giving you. the good news is, i was down 3 pounds this week. the bad news. that brings my total to -7. yes. -7. the same weight i was down 4 weeks ago.

last week when i said i had fallen off the wagon, that may have been a little white lie. it was at least not the whole truth. and as my mother always said "now melinda, not telling the whole truth is the same as telling a lie." yah yah whatever mom. well that darn mom voice keeps running through my head and i think i should tell you the truth. i fell of the wagon. i fell off the wagon hard. and hit my head. on a rock. it cracked open. and i was bleeding. bleeding hard. bleeding fast. i hemorrhaged. and caught typhoid fever. my life quickly started to resemble the game of oregon trail. i was bit by a snake and had cholera. i had measles, exhaustion, and dysentery, and i was still losing blood from the wagon fall and the head on the rock. i fell of the wagon and died. my family had a quick funeral for me and then continued on their trail west. i was dead. and in my after life, i was still fat.

then i woke up, dusted myself off, and got back to my points, and my water. and i lost 3 pounds. and now i am back on track. with my first goal, still unreached in 8 weeks. but my dad is right when he says to me "your ultimate goal is changing your lifestyle, what if it takes you 2 years to reach your weight loss goal..." 2 years? 2 years? dear Jesus, please don't let it be 2 years. but he is right. i am not trying to follow a fad diet and lose 50 pounds in 3 months. i am trying to make a lifestyle change, so i can remain healthy, and make healthy choices that effect my family. i am trying to change my life, not just change my body. and i need someone to tell me that i may be fat for 2 more years, but it is worth it if i can change who i am from the inside out. so thank you dad, and matthew, and everyone out there is cyber blog internet world who reads this and keeps me motivated, encouraged, and accountable.

tuesday when i came home the sunlight in the side yard was calling my name. i grabbed my nearly dead camera (i lost the battery charger temporarily... did i ever tell you i lose things.) and headed over to they side yard. now if only i had a photo subject. i need a muse. and matthew would rather have me poke his eye out with a dull pencil. hmmm... maybe having kids is a good idea. until then, flowers will have to do.

i have a canon sd850 is. it is a point and shoot. and i like it a lot. i try. i do what i can. if anyone wants to buy me a nikon digital slr i will let you. until then, i will practice with my point and shoot.

this picture is soooo dark... but there is something about that sun, and those little flower twigs. i love it.

i thought this was my favorite picture of the day. until i realized there is a huge dead flower in half the picture. note to self: look for dead flowers and remove from frame before clicking.

there is something about unopened flowers. you don't know what they might hold. they are new, and fresh, and mysterious.

it is sooo windy in nebraska. flowers can not keep their God-given shape.

yummy sunlight.

oh, hello little bug. fancy, meeting you here.

goodbye little bug. it was lovely meeting you. have a wonderful day.


  1. Really, really lovely photos! They made me breathe deeply, like I might fill my lungs with the lovely afternoon air in your yard.

    You really can do this, the lifestyle change. Maybe in two months, maybe in two years, most likely somewhere in between that you won't notice at first. But the positive results are addictive. And they are coming - hang on!

  2. you shouldn't title blogs like that. i gasped before i read on thinking now you and matt aren't coming over because you're in the hospital.

  3. mamageph,

    thanks for the encouragement.

  4. You are still thinking about lifestyle change 8 weeks into it which, in my book, is a triumph in itself. So many times it seems we want something but 2 weeks later have decided it isn't worth the effort.

    And you are definitely worth the effort.

    Love the pictures! I have a Canon dSLR and love it. Perhaps you should set dome goals and use it as a reward :)

  5. Hi Melinda,

    Ree said to me, " I see that your daughter-in-law has left a few comments.
    And I said,"She loves you."
    And Ree says, "Well. I love her too" ;o)

  6. dandy,

    i have tried to convince my husband that i should set some goals and reward myself. with a real life big girl camera. he has yet to see the importance. i am working on it.


    imagine my excitement. even if she was just saying it to be nice. i am a true ree lover. is that a creepy thing to say?

  7. Anonymous10:52

    M -- I'm at 8.4 total loss, now. A few of 'em were lost twice because my off the wagon was a big fat GAIN. but at least I went back. And we're in the right direction again. We can do this.

    I'm reading a really funny book right now by Jeannette Fulda - PastaQueen.com - ever been there? Her book is called Half-Assed. She lost more than half her body weight. She has such a winsome way of sharing her journey - mind games and all. I'll send it to you when I'm done if you'd like. Interested?

    Happy Thursday!

  8. steph,

    you go girl. you started after me and have lost more than me. jealous i am.

    i'd love to read the book. and i am off to check out her site now.

  9. Anonymous19:09

    m - i should finish it tonight. i'll put it in the mail tomorrow and then you can have your way with it. :)

    email me your mailing address. i promise not to stalk you.

    [who is not to be coveted for her meager weight loss. i'm a slouch.]


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