accurate portrayal...

http://imagecache5.art.com/p/LRG/20/2094/LOT2D00Z/stephen-huneck-love-is-give-and-take.jpg
love is give and take
stephen huneck

i have loved death cab for cutie since the beginning of time. or at least since i first heard them. probably like my freshman year in high school. i love them still, and i will love them forever and always. some albums i can play over and over again. some albums i know i will still sing at the top of my lungs in the car, even with my kids begging me to shut it, and plugging their ears in the backseat. death cab is in that list. and my kids will learn to deal with it. or i will buy them earplugs.

i think the lyrics are pure genius. brilliant. they can stand on their own without the music as pure poetry. raw, honest, real life, poetry. one of the greatest songwriters i have ever known. here just look:

Cath, she stands with a well intentioned-man
But she can’t relax with his hand on the small of her back
And as the flashbulbs burst she holds a smile
Like someone would hold a crying child

from Cath... we love this song.
here it is on YouTube, if you so choose...

The glove compartment is inaccurately named
And everybody knows it.
So I’m proposing a swift orderly change.

Cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
And all I find are souvenirs from better times
Before the gleam of your taillights fading east
To find yourself a better life.

from Title and Registration
YouTube

When we laugh indoors, the blissful tones bounce off the walls and fall to the ground.
Peel the hardwood back to let them loose from decades trapped and listen so still.

from We Laugh Indoors
YouTube

i could do this all day, but i should maybe get to my point... maybe.




I’m starting to feel we stay together out of fear of dying alone
I’ve been slipping through the years and my old clothes don’t fit like they once did

So they hang like ghosts of the people I’ve been


But it’s like my heart can’t be tamed and I fall in love every day and I feel like a fool

And I have to face the truth that no one could ever look at me like you do

Like I’m something worth holding on to


There’s times I think of leaving but it’s something I’ll never do

‘Cause you can do better than me but I can’t do better than you


Death Cab for Cutie
words by Benjamin Gibbard



to me, this song, this short little song, is such an accurate portrayal of marriage, of love, of life.

matthew and i have been married for just over 2 years. we dated for 2 years before that, and were friends for 2 years before that. we sort of fell into each other. i realized i loved him when it was him i was thinking about as i feel asleep. it was the same for matthew. he is everything i ever dreamed of, he is my best friend. i could not live without him. i love him more than i ever thought i could love a person, i love him unconditionally.

now, i am no marriage expert. i am no professional. in fact, i never finished college (neither did bill gates by the way, or at least that's what i heard) but i know one thing. marriage is hard. in the beginning it is easy to float by on giggles, butterflies, sideways glances. you can get by on, smiles, kisses and dreams of the future. we knew what we were getting ourselves into. we knew each other for a long time. he knew my family, and had seen me cry and yell and make a big deal out of nothing long before we started dating. but still, there comes a moment, a time, when those lovey dovey feelings, those butterflies, those sideways glances, can no longer mask all those annoying habits that were endearing, and cute before. there come a time when you can no longer depend on feeling like loving that person for all eternity. you have to choose to.

I’m starting to feel we stay together out of fear of dying alone
I’ve been slipping through the years and my old clothes don’t fit like they once did

So they hang like ghosts of the people I’ve been


there are days, sometimes weeks, where it seems nothing is communicated well, you can talk, and talk, and talk, but it's like the words never quite meet in the air, and they certainly don't make it to the ears and minds and heart of your forever love. there are days, sometimes weeks, where you can not connect to that person, emotionally, spiritually, physically, no matter how hard you try. there are days, sometimes weeks, where it feels like you have only said "good morning." "how was your day." "good night." there are days, sometimes weeks, where it seems like they always get their way, you are constantly giving in and getting nothing in return. there are days, sometimes weeks when your kisses are cold, and you remember and crave the kisses of the past full of passion and love and question. there are days, sometimes weeks, where you look at that person and wonder. you wonder if you made the right decision, knowing the answer deep down is, "of course, there is no one else." but you ask it anyway.

And I have to face the truth that no one could ever look at me like you do

Like I’m something worth holding on to


but then you look at that person, and you see them looking at you, and you know. but then they make you laugh so hard you pee a little, and you think you may pass out because you can't quite breathe. but then, you talk, you connect, and you remember you share a heart. but then they hold you when you cry, and tell you it will be all right, even if they don't know that it will be. but then they kiss you and the passion is there, and the love is there, and the butterflies come back, even just for a moment.

and you know, you could never do better. you know this person has it all. that they are yours forever. and you know they could do better. because the thing about marriage is, it makes you see all the ugly parts of yourself, it makes it easier to see all your faults, and hardships. and you can look at that person who chooses to love you, and wonder why they do. and they can look at you and think the same.

There’s times I think of leaving but it’s something I’ll never do
‘Cause you can do better than me but I can’t do better than you


and you find your love, and you find your dedication, and you stay. because you are in love. it just got lost there for a moment. and you stay because even when it is hard, it is one of the only things that make sense. you stay, because that is what you were called to do.

but the point is, you stay. and when you do, you can find love again with each new day.

http://imagecache5.art.com/p/LRG/6/663/GQAC000Z/marc-chagall-birthday.jpg
birthday
marc chagall

Comments

  1. Mmm. I really like "What Sarah Said."

    Love really is a moment-by-moment choice. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. i wrote a poem about the song "what Sarah said" a couple years ago. death cab does have great lyrics. pure poetry.

    ReplyDelete

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