last thoughts...

some last thoughts on pregnancy...

this post may also be called... "why asher may be an only child" or "good riddance pregnancy"

my entire life i dreamed of being pregnant. my cousins and i would slyly stick pillows under our shirts while playing house. dreaming of the day we would be having babies of our own. i wondered what it would feel like, what i would look like, how it could all come to be...

pregnant women are almost worshiped in this country. we even get our own parking spaces at some stores. at some stores, i swear they are closer to the door than the handicap spots. tell people you are pregnant and they light up like a frickin glow worm... pregnant women are like royalty in this country. they are oohed and ahhed over, they are treated with special treatment. they are allowed to be crabby and emotional. they are allowed to eat ice cream every day, and they get priority seating on airplanes.

pregnant women in the movies and on tv are glamorous and glowing, smiling and filled with joy.

who wouldn't want that experience? who wouldn't want to be pregnant and all that it entails when that is what you see all the time?

this dream, this wonderful miracle that i desired my entire my life... it has sucked.

it was nothing like the pictures on tv. it was exactly my dream come true, because of this, my dream is coming true. because of this, i will by a mom, matthew and i will be a family. but other than that... really... it sucked. well, other than that and the reserved for pregnant women only parking spots, it sucked.

some women love being pregnant. i am not one of those women.

and i think those women must be nuts.

pregnancy is an endless string of fatigue and nausea. your body stretches and warps into irregular shapes, and it rarely goes back to what it was before. you get leg cramps, and restless leg syndrome. its hard to sleep. its hard to get comfortable. you get stretch marks. it hurts. really, no one likes to tell you that... but it does. you gain weight. your feet and ankles swell. your hair changes (mine is no longer curly), you sometimes grow body hair. your skin can change color or become pimple ridden. you are hot all the time. you sweat. simple tasks become difficult... forget about cleaning the bathroom floor. that after work glass of wine is a no no. you can't swing a golf club in this state. you lose complete control of your body. your body doesn't belong to you anymore. it belongs to some alien invader who is making you feel unlike yourself. sometimes that alien kicks you. this strange little creature controls nearly everything you do. and then one day a river gushes between your legs, and you have to push a human being out of your hoo-ha.

and it is a mircale. it is a dream... but this dream, at times, can seem like a nightmare.

i am waiting for the day when i am no longer pregnant... i am waiting for the day i can hold asher in my arms, and this all starts to make sense. when i can sleep comfortably. when i am no longer hot and sweating. when i forget all these terrible side effects of pregnancy, and am really a mom.

good riddance, pregnancy! it was nice knowing you.

"Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes."
Joyce Armor

"By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant."
Phyllis Diller

"Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant."
Jim Cole


  1. i love this. women who romanticize pregnancy usually haven't been pregnant. it blows.

    can't wait for asher to get here! then we can celebrate with a bottle of wine and swinging some golf clubs.

  2. "the pain in child birth' part in Genesis...
    it counts for the pain before the birth and the physical changes your body has gone thru....for the rest of your life.

    It's worth it.

    That Jim Cole quote is hilarious!

  3. I agree Melinda and I did it 4 times! ;) If I didn't think it was so miserable, I'd probably have 12!

  4. Axelle the french reader09:44

    MDR (french equivalent to US LOL... ) !!!
    I love this post !! ... even if, sorry, I had loved to be pregnant ;-)
    But I love when people get tired with "good thinking" and say what they really feel !
    What you say, at the beginning of this post is true even in France : Pregnants women have all the attention on them. That's one of the reasons (after the PHYSICAL reasons, of course) that we can feel the VERY FAMOUS (more than an Elvis's song ...) : BAAAAABYYY BLUES !!! (following a lot of frenches bad words like "putain de bordel de merde de baby blues de mes deux" But ssssshhht...):
    Yesterday, everyone looks at you, takes care of you Etc ....etc ... Tomorrow, when our sweet baby comes, we don't exist anymore ... All for baby ! ;-)

    Friendly and keep courage, Melinda Sue, it's already the end line !

  5. I can't be the only woman on the planet who LOVED LOVED LOVED being pregnant...and I did it eight times.

    I loved the fact that for those very short nine months.... I had the baby or in the twins case the babies all to myself. Selfishly... I had the privilege of holding, feeling, snuggling the little one close to my heart and I loved it.

    I really loved those first few months...before we had shared our news and I hugged both the baby and our secret close.

    Yes...pregnancy warped my body out of shape..didn't and don't care. Truthfully... all the things women complain about in pregnancy...seemed like insignificant twitches on the radar compared with the main event.

    BTW... There are two posts that I'm looking forward to after Asher arrives.... the "Now that I am a Mom... I love my Mom even more." and the "I thought I knew what great love felt like...I had no idea until I became a Mom." It is after all those two simple facts that for me...made the discomforts of pregnancy minor inconveniences.

  6. lmk,

    my mom loved being pregnant. she can't understand my dislike for it.

    i can not wait for the "after". i know it will make this all worth while.

  7. Melinda.... If I were completely honest...I would admit... It wasn't until after our first child...when I looked back and realized what a magical time it was, and how quickly it went that I begin to really realize how unique and magical the entire experience was. Which each baby pregnancy went by faster... and I came to relish the few months when it was just baby and I.

  8. Anonymous17:45

    Melinda Sue, you are in our prayers and on our minds so much right now near the end of your pregnancy. My husband and I feel like we are honorary uncle and aunt for all the prayers we have been praying for you, Matthew and Asher. Having been pregnant twice and have two wonderful sons to show for it, I can say like others before me, "It is all worth it!" And, it was so much easier the second time around with everything. As an only child myself, I always encourage young mothers if possible to have two children, not just one. Like your sign says on the blog, "Keep calm and carry on." Asher will make it all worth while, even the swollen ankles.
    love and prayers, jep
    PS It is OK to be cranky especially when you are 9 months pregnant.

  9. Anonymous18:34

    I loved being pregnant too!! Sorry you hate it! It all depends on how you react to it tho... I have a friend who has been miserably sick the whole pregnancy! I only got sick once ( when I was 28 weeks and it was MISERABLE!) But I LOVED every minute of the rest of it! I am soo ready to have another and experience all that again! It will end soon and you will have your bundle of joy! Good luck with everything!

  10. Anonymous00:51

    I'm soooo with you. I didn't enjoy pregnancy at all. The only good part was feeling the baby move; that was miraculous and awe-inspiring. Well, except for the times it felt like knives being jabbed into my body.

    I despised being pregnant so much, that after my 4th was born I had my tubes tied the next day so I'd never be pregnant again. I've since regretted that decision many times over, but I just share it to show how powerful the loathing of pregnancy can be!

    On the other hand, it makes sense that such an amazing gift would come at a cost. The cost doesn't compare at all to the reward, of course, but it feels right that it should be hard. Anyway, just empathizing here. I know what it feels like to be 9 months pregnant in August-and wow; not fun.

    Praying for Asher's safe arrival!


  11. THANK YOU!!! I feel the exact same way.

  12. I always said that it wasn't that I didn't like pregnancy but that pregnancy didn't like me. It gave me severe acid reflux to the point of daily vomit the last 3 months, it gave me so much excess water that I looked like a water balloon- ready to pop at any moment! I would have been so happy if all I to deal with was a growing belly.... But NO... Because for the most part that only happens on TV.


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