currently reading...

A Marriage After God's Own Heart, by David Clarke...

i picked this book up before matthew and i's wedding, i thought i would read it and be super wife. i have made it through Part 1. that is the easy part. 39 pages of comical stories of other people's marriage, and why that means we need Christ in our marriage. i underlined, i starred, i highlighted, yes part 1 was great reading. David Clarke is funny, man- marriage is funny, and yes- marriage does need Jesus... so why is it so hard to continue with Part 2?! becuase Part 2 is going to tell me what is wrong with me. it is going to tell me to change, it is going to tell me i am a bad wife, and i need to focus on Jesus. i know these things are all true, i know that i am selfish, i know that i am anxious, i know that i am not as loving as i could be... but why is reading someone elses words that say i suck so much harder than telling myself that i suck... i suck! i am human, i am not perfect, i can never be perfect, but picking up a book that may help me be closer to perfect seems a good idea. if only i can make myself read Parts 2 and 3. what good is hearing disasterous, hilarious, stories of one's marriage if i can not use it to better my own?

i finished part 1 thursday... and although i have not yet ventured into the scary world of parts 2 and 3. although i have not yet ventured into the scary world of hearing someone elses words tell me i suck, tell me that i can do better, tell me that God desires more of me... i will venture into parts 2 and 3. and until then i will focus on what i learned in part 1...

"Why did God make men and women so unbelievably different? The main
reason is so that we would have to depend on Him. God wants to be at the
center of every marriage, so He made the relationship so difficult that we have
to keep Him there to make it work. That's just like God, isn't it?
He makes sure that He is the answer to all of life's problems." (page 18)

"...on your own, marriage is impossible. That's the most important truth about marriage. It's not just really, really difficult-- not just a tremendous challenge. It's impossible. Marriage is a never-ending series of conflicts, misunderstandings, and mind-boggling missed connections." (page 17)


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