escape...

some days you just wish you were somewhere else, someone else, doing someone else's job, wearing someone elses clothes, living a life different than your own.

you just want to escape. usually reading a book is escape enough for me. when i read, i don't just read. i become the story, it is like i am living it. and usually that is enough of an escape for me. reading, dreaming, escaping into a world of gloriously written fiction. but some days, some days

escaping into book world just isn't escape enough.

today was that day.

i really, really, really, wished i was somewhere else, doing someone else's job. i feel that way at least once a week, usually 5 times a week, but today really took the cake. worst.work-day.ever.

and i wished i were somewhere else. anywhere else. i would have rather been at the gynecologist, being poked and prodded and fondled inappropriately. as much as i tried, i couldn't escape. and it left me wondering what job i would not try to escape from.

i want his job.

anthony bourdain.

he travels around the world, and writes about his travels. he eats and writes about the food. how do you get that job? someone please tell me, because i really really want that job. i would love that job. i wouldn't wish i was doing someone elses job, if i was doing his job. except he sometimes eats weird things. like intestines and blood sausages. i wouldn't eat raw animal eggs or pickled brains. but i would travel, and learn, and experience culture, and i would dream and live and write. and i would take my matthew with me. and we would live the high life, and i would never try to escape from that job.

but i am no anthony bourdain. and i am not a for the reals writer. and flying makes me nervous, and pitt sweat, and cry a little. i just write a blog, and i work in an office that i often wish i could escape.

and i live a very blessed life, really. i have a husband who loves me, no matter how many pounds i gain, or how grown out my highlights are. we have 2 cars that work and work well most of the time. and in 2 days we will have keys to our very own house, with a 7 year old roof over our head. i have parents who loved me every moment, even when i was mean and ugly and spoiled. i have everything i need, and lots of things i don't need but just really want. i have food on the table, and clothes on my back. i have friends in real life, and i have friends in blog life. i have a job that provides for me. and i have books, and pen and paper, and the beauty of the autumn days. i am blessed beyond measure. job like anthony bourdain, or not. i am blessed.

and that job that provides for me, allows me to live my life. and i don't get to travel across the world, and i don't get paid to write. but i get to go to bed every night with a man who loves me, fall asleep in his arms. we get to plan our life together, and someday that job will provide for me, so we can have our own family. and that job allows me to help lead worship at church, and teach sunday school, and allows me time to read and write and dream. and that job is where i am now. it is who i am now, and i can not escape it, not now. so sometimes i have to make myself count my blessings, and see how God has provided for me. and when i do, i see that i am blessed, and that i am even blessed with a job. and today, that is something to be thankful for.

and speaking of blessed, i need to go pack. because, have i mentioned that in 2 days we will have the keys to our very first home? really. we will. and i need to pack, so i can move there sometime in the next 40 years.

John Bull, Property Estate Agents Flat Hunting,
Buying a New Home Magazine, UK, 1959