4 weeks ago today...

that's right, we have been married for 4 weeks... some moments it feels like a lifetime ago, some moments it feels like yesterday. every moment i feel so blessed and so thankful. thank you Lord for leading us to each other, and for allowing our imperfect selves to come together and try to glorify a perfect you... thank you.

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in these 4 weeks a lot has happened. we drove to san antonio, had a fabulous time, gained a few pounds, and then drove back. we contemplated quiting our jobs and staying home with each other every moment (we quickly decided that was not an option). we gave all of our new fabulous gifts a home and a place to belong, all of our new fabulous gifts have since found new places to reside away from their homes and place of belongings. (new places on the floor, countertops, and tables) our tv broke, we bought a new, smaller, inexpensive tv to replace it. our cable then quit working, we got the internet, and got our cable fixed. our cable broke again. patrick moved, and we miss him. because patrick moved, i now have to work 9-6. matthew works 6-3. i wish we worked the same hours. i miss him mostly every moment i am at work. we have fought, and cried, and loved and loved, laughed, and smiled, and loved and loved. i have learned a lot about myself in 4 weeks... most of it not fun to learn. most of it things i am not proud of, most of it things that need to change.

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how do i become the wife that Christ intended me to be? How can i possibly disregard all of my selfishness? ... with faith and perseverance... with forgiveness, hope, and love... and still i fear i will never be the wife i dreamed i would be, i fear my old self will persevere. so every day i must strive, everyday i must rely on God, to take me out of myself, and into the refining fire.

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Romans 15:5-6 "May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

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and the truth is, i will never be the wife that God intended me to be, i will never be perfect. but i must still strive for this. and in this journey, everyday, i will come closer to hitting the mark. and i will become more like the wife, more like the person, that God intended for me to be.