my matthew...

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."  Romans 12:2

there are lots of reasons why i love my husband.  there are lots of reasons i chose to marry him, and i choose to stay married to him. there are lots of reasons i choose to love him each and every day.

i never wondered what kind of husband he would be.  i knew.  he would love me.  he would choose to love me every day.  he would never cheat on me.  he would never question why he married me.  he would lead me.  i knew we would fight.  i knew we would have hard times.  i knew there would be months when we would struggle to make ends meet.  and i knew in these times that God would provide us what we need.   i knew he would not place importance on status or money.  he would not find his, or anyone elses value, in status or money or anything of the sorts. 

he judges by the heart.  his value is found in who he is in Christ, and in Christ, he is everything.  he values others by the same.  he works hard, not to be the best, but because God asks him too.  he loves, not because it is always easy, but because God asks him too.  he sacrifices things, things he loves, because it is best for our family; because it may be a weakness in him that God would not desire.  he does not conform to the pattern of this world, he is transformed by the renewing of the mind. (romans 12:2)

these are things in him that i love the most.  these also happen to be things in him that are sometimes hard for the outside world to understand.  he doesn't need to have a six figure job, we have everything we need and so much more.  he doesn't need to move up any corporate ladder to feel good about himself, his value is not defined by what he does.  he does not need to be the best at anything, he only needs to try his best at the things he does.  he doesn't need to win, he needs to be a winning husband and father. 

and i love him for these things.  he is more than i could have dreamed for in a husband.  his heart is who he is, and his heart is beautiful. 

when i was pregnant i wondered what kind of father he would be, not that i didn't believe he would be a great one, but because i just didn't know what he would look like as a dad.  but then asher was born, and he welcomed our son with tears in his eyes (that never escaped his eye lids, but they never do) and i knew what kind of father he would be. 

he would love him.  not because of what he did, or who he became.  not because he was a success.  not because he was beautiful, not because he was smart, not because he was a winner at everything he did.  he would love our child because he was ours.  he would love our child because God called him to.  he would not define him by what he did or who he became or the amount of money he made... he would define him by who he is in Christ, and in Christ, he is everything.

matthew loves asher.  he adores him.  becoming a daddy has been the best thing in his life.  he plays with him.  he watches dora and thomas the tank engine with him.  he rough houses with him.  he sings with him.  he laughs with him.  he disciplines him.  he prays with him.  it is matthew he asks for most of the time.  it is matthew who can handle his emotional breakdowns the best.  matthew is there with him.  all the time.  he is a daddy who doesn't want to miss a thing.

i know that matthew will teach him great things.  not just with his words, but with action.  asher will learn who to become by watching matthew's lead.  he will teach him to love Jesus and to love people.  he will teach him that money and status doesn't define you.  he will teach him to act in service, to act in love.  he will teach him that God wants us to be our best, but then when we don't succeed He doesn't love us any less.  he will encourage him and support him.  he will cheer him on in whatever he does.  he will find things to do with him, he will not let them grow apart.  he will always be proud of him.  he will pray for him.  he will pray that he grows to know Christ, to love Christ, to love people, to act in service, to not conform to the pattern of the world but to be transformed by the renewing of the mind. (romans 12:2)  asher will have his daddy's heart, and that heart is beautiful.

and i will pray that asher grows up knowing what a gift he has in a daddy who loves him so much, who loves his mama so much.  i will pray that he values a daddy who cares more about following God, more about being a a good daddy and a good husband than anything else.  i will pray that asher knows what a treasure it is to have a daddy like my matthew.

and i will be so proud of both of them.  i will love them with all my heart.  and i will thank God each and every day for bringing them to me, for allowing me this life.

matthew, my matthew, i love you.  i am proud of you.  for all you are, and all you do.  for your heart and your desire to not be of this world.  for the husband and father you have been and will continue to be.  thank you for seeking His will.  thank you for being you.


  1. Melinda,
    I had a lump in my throat as I read this. I can only pray that in God's time, my Graham will be lucky enough to be as cherished as Matthew is, by you and Asher.

  2. This is a wonderful post, Melinda Sue. I'm happy to read you !!
    I was just asking to Donna how you were ? I hope everything is fine with the future baby and that you're not too tired :)
    As Cheryl, I just hope one day, my son, Leo, will meet a woman who will love him as you love Matthew.

  3. Anonymous15:41

    "What does it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul.". All these other things could be taken away tomorrow, investing in the truth of Gods word is eternal, and cannot rust, fade, or be taken away.

  4. Anonymous18:57

    We are blessed as well by having such a loving and caring man to love our daughter and grandchild(ren). What a wonderful son-in-law he is. We love and adore this man, Matthew Glyman Boucher! - Carol (Nana)

  5. I am thankful for you Melinda.
    How blessed am I to know that my boy has an amazing wife like you..who is just the greatest mom and wife...and loves him so.

    I see him as you do.

    It is a beautiful thing.

  6. Anonymous19:51

    I love this post. Beautifully written and genuine!


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