lovers not fighters...

a couple of weeks ago, as i was folding laundry, i watched the notebook, it was on tv and i couldn't pass it up. matthew had never seen it, and as he cruised the internet sitting in his recliner, he kind of watched it with me. this movie breaks my heart. two people who hove loved each other for so long, who have given their whole lives to each other, and as an old woman, she can not remember the love of her life. every time think about the scene when she remembers, for just a moment, and they share a dance in candlelight for just a moment, before she forgets a again, and is taken over by her mind altering disease; i ball, great big ugly tears. i am crying right now thinking about it.

i can relate to this for some reason i can not understand.

maybe it is because i love my husband, and i know he loves me, maybe it is because some of their relationship is very much like ours. maybe it is the thought that someday it may be one of us not being able to remember the love we shared our entire lives.

noah and allie love each other fiercely. they also fight fiercely.

i love this scene, when she comes back to him after years of being away, and he tries to make her realize that she belongs there with him. they had only been back together a few days and had already started fighting:

Noah: Would you just stay with me?
Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'
Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Allie: So what?
Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day.

and that is what love is to me. fighting, and knowing that the fighting is just a tiny piece of your life, and knowing it will be hard, but that it is worth it.

matthew and i fight. we fight as much, if not more, as any other couple in the world. but we also love each other undyingly. and we have to work at our relationship, and it is hard. but it is what we want. it is what we want because we love each other. we love each other forever, and through whatever. and being fighters not lovers works out pretty okay for us.

plus, he'll let me watch the notebook while i fold laundry and not even complain about me hogging his tv and robbing his saturday afternoon. he's a keeper.

a couple days later, we watched this story on cbs sunday morning. it has nothing to do with fighting, but did have to do with the notebook... and again i broke. i sat on the couch and cried, and matthew giggled at my easy tears. but it was a beautiful story that i thought you might also be touched and broken by.

here. click this link to watch the whole segment, i can't figure out how to embed it. i suck at this technology stuff.

happy friday everyone! have a restful and peaceful weekend where you are.


  1. when I moved back to Nebraska, the first night I went over to Patrick and Steve's apartment, Steve asked if I wanted to go watch "The Notebook" in his room with him. I said no, I'd rather not. that's why we didn't start dating again sooner.

  2. Anonymous07:50

    I own The Notebook, but swear I watch it every time it's on TV, because it's that good. And the Stay With Me scene? I always cry; even this morning. Love it!

  3. i hated that movie.

  4. That Sunday Morning segment made me cry too. So you're not the only one. I loved it.


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