a little behind the times, a plea for help...

matthew and i don't always stay up with what's hip and cool. no sir. we have more important things to do, like sit on our butts and watch tv, and blog and watch sports, and pretend to clean the house.

tonight we finally got around to watching up. i thought it was splendid. i loved the scene fo the couple growing old together. i cried. it was lovely. i could have done without the dogs. i loved the ending, i loved the relationships in the movie. it was a very sweet childrens movie, and not just for children. we twenty almost thirty somethings enjoyed it very much.

i like things clean. pristine. i don't like living in clutter and mess and dirt. i can handle a couple piles here and there... but generally i need order. i like order. it has something to do with my wanting to control anything and everything, i am sure... but lately, i am having a hard time motivating myself to keep my house in the order i normally appreciate it in. and it is making me completely bonkers. with just 500 more square feet than a normal apartment, it shouldn't be that hard to keep it clean. i made myself a chore list. things i need to get done every day when i get home from work. today is wednesday... i have not done a single thing on my list. i may just be designed to clean the house on saturday, or maybe i am designed to be a slob. i don't know... i am still working on being a good wife, keeping a house... and i need your tips...

1. what is your favorite cleaning product?
2. do you have a favorite organizing product or technique?
3. how do you manage working fulltime, and keeping a house?
4. do you have help in doing so? hired help? kids chores? a husband who does it all?
5. what one things most keeps you from your chores, or keeping a house?

i love sitting with my husband in the evenings. i would rather sit with him than be anywhere. i feel like i spend more time with the idiots i work with, than i do with my huband. and when i get home, i like to be with him. i could spend all evening cleaning and organizing and decorating and finishing. but i choose to sit with my husband instead. he helps me out whenever i ask him, he does the dishes everyday. he does his part to help me. he is such a great blessing.

i have not learned how to mix them. how to keep the perfect home, work full time, and spend the time i need with my matthew. i am still trying to figure it out... does anyone ever figure this out? or will i struggle with this as long as we both shall live?


  1. Karen Finnessy09:17

    What a sweet, lovely post today Melinda. Matthew is very lucky to have met you.

    You have already figured out what took me over 20 yrs. to discover, that my home and my husband are the most important people and things in my life. I spent many years putting more effort into pleasing others and stressing myself out to make good impressions on total strangers and never being able to say no.

    Again, your words are very accurate and mature for such a newly married woman.

  2. as long as you both shall live....

    I miss my cleaning lady.

  3. Am I one of those idiots that you work with?

    I just don't clean...that's my philosophy!

  4. I have never had an easy time keeping things clean. I make Intricate Lists and then lose them (-: I did get two pieces of advice that helped me when I was at your stage:

    1) Make one room nice (wherever you and Matthew like to hang would be my choice.) And most important: Nice means what YOU think it does, not someone else's definition. Whatever helps keep you from twitching. Put clutter in another room if you can't get rid of it. Keep that one room clean.

    2) Take fifteen minutes each day to keep things tidy. A quick bathroom wipe down, put away a pile of laundry, quick vacuum. Done. Only fifteen minutes. That helped me because of my tendency to get overwhelmed and give up. All I had to do was fifteen minutes.

    You're starting with the right priority. Honestly? Anyone can eventually get a clean house, but to enjoy one's husband? That's a gift!!!

    I really enjoy your blog, Melinda!

    part of Donna's fan club

  5. Melinda,

    I've been out of the loop - just got ALL your big news today, and am jumping for joy.

    First things first.

    The lazy-girl's way of maintaining the house:

    1. I'm not great at it, but even that is an improvement from where I used to be. I know. It was bad. I have Bible study in my house on Tuesday afternoons. It's good for me because it forces me to clean on Tuesday mornings. :) I clean twice a week. No 15-minutes-a-day for me, because I'm not nearly as self-actualized as Di, or as evolved. ;) Tuesdays and Fridays. Of course, I BIG clean probably once a month - I hope that doesn't sound gross, but the 2x/week keeps me on top of the the little dirt, if that makes any sense. So it's sweep the kitchen and the bathroom, then vacuum up the swept piles, then vacuum the rest of the house, dust the living room [including the black shiny baby grand - i am better at dusting now that it's here], and then wipe down all the bathroom surfaces and doorknobs with pre-moistened walmart brand disinfecting cloths.

    2. Make a small investment in what works for you. Seriously, I'm a child of depression-era parents, but that hasn't stopped me from loving all the disposable conveniences. I LOVE my swiffer wet-jet. I hate mopping, but the wet-jet makes it attainable and FINISH-able for me, you know? The floor gets real-mopped once a month-ish, but it gets wet-jetted most Tuesday mornings. Then the disposable cloths for the kitchen, and even a swiffer hand-duster for the living room [ostensibly to avoid product-build up on the piano, but it's also just way more convenient] really help me to get it done.

    The children's rooms are a different story, however. Haz-mat teams are involved. This is not an area of strength for me.

    OK. more later. now i'm feeling convicted because i didn't clean yesterday and i have to get it done. :)


  6. I popped over from Miz Booshay's blog to congratulate you on the news!

    You are not alone in your struggle to somehow make it all work: being a wife/mother/housekeeper/career girl. The bottom line is...we can't do it all.

    My husband helps me keep it in perspective when I get freaked out about the dirty dishes or the dust on the coffee table. He reminds me that taking time to talk to him and build our relationship is much better spent than time making sure the house would be ready for a Better Homes and Gardens photoshoot :-)

    Now that we have two beautiful baby girls, and two wonderful dogs. I have completely given up on trying to be the perfect "everything". I'm an ok housekeeper, I'm an ok employee. But I'm a FANTASTIC mother (according to my kids and husband) and a good (and getting better) wife. And I would rather have on my headstone "Beloved wife/mother" than "Her house was always so clean" :-)

    You'll find your balance, that's the important thing. We're not perfect, but we are loved.

    Best wishes on the baby! It's a fantastic journey and it sounds like you have a wonderful partner to take that journey with.

  7. Hi Melinda,
    I love Mrs. Meyers Clean Day products. They smell great, and I have fun using them. My husband even bought me the lavender counter wipes last week, and I loved getting them as much as flowers. Sad, I know.

  8. Congratulations! Children are wonderful. I'm ignoring mine right now to tell you that!

    I started staying home when my son was 2 1/2. It drove me crazy because the house was actually worse and I couldn't get dinner on the table. Then I found Flylady.net and learned a lot about how to keep things up with just a little at a time. I've been resisting (yes, you read that right) her advice for over 7 years, and every time I give in and try a new habit, my life gets easier. Don't think you have to go whole hog, because every little bit helps.


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