he ain't heavy, he's my brother....

jesse and melinda
may 2009.

it has been snowing... again. snowing and blowing and freezing. current temperature, -4. windchill, -29. our high for tomorrow is -4. we will hit that high at about 1 o'clock this morning. the low is -24. sustained windchills are expected to be at -40. the city has long ago ran out of places to push snow. you can no longer see around corners. at this rate we will have piles of snow until june. the schools have already used 6 snow days. that is double the number i had my entire school career, k-12. remind me again why we didn't move to texas or arizona when i wanted to? my brother stays at our house when it snows. he lives 40 miles away, in the middle of nowhere. if it snows, he can't get home. so he stays here. we don't mind. we kind of like my brother.

my brother was born on january 22, 1987. i was 3. i was so excited to have a baby brother. i was dropped off at pat and judy's on the way to the hospital. i loved going to pat and judy's. they let me drink as much apple juice as i wanted, and they had a whole stash of strawberry shortcake toys just for me. i played, and drank, and played and drank, and read books. i could not sleep, i was too excited to meet my new baby brother. what seemed like decades later, my dad finally showed up to take me to meet jesse. we stopped at the mall so i could pick out something special for my brand new brother. i picked out a pair of grey sweat pants and sweatshirt, with looney tunes characters plastered on the front of it. i also picked out a little winnie the pooh stuffed animal. this would become his favorite stuffed animal in the near future, and he would cuddle it every night while he slept.

my excitement did not wear off quickly. i loved to help mom change diapers, and hold bottles, and i loved to hold him on my lap. my mom called me "her little mommy". it made me feel special and needed. and i adored that smelly little adorable baby.

we grew up playing together every day. we played well together... most of the time. we played school, i was always the teacher. we played house, i was always the mom. we played police, i was always the captain. i like to boss people around. i bossed him around while we rode our bikes, and played on the playground, and in everything we did.

he was so shy when he was little, if someone looked at him, he couldn't make eye contact. if someone talked to him, he could not respond, and tears would fill his eyes. he was so used to me talking for him, he didn't need to interact with people on his own. he was so shy it hurt.

as we grew up, we grew apart, as most siblings do. we irritated each other to no end. we fought, and bickered, and complained about each other. it was a nuisance to drive him to where he needed to be, and he would never leave me and my friends alone. he was annoying. he would call me names under his breathe until i couldn't take it anymore, and would slug him. then he would cry, and get me in trouble. i swear he did it on purpose. while i was being punished, he would smirk and smile and laugh. ugh... brothers.

mom and dad both worked full time, in some ways i raised him myself. i was the one who had to get him to do his chores and homework. i was the one who had to help him after school. i was the one who had to make decisions about going to friends houses, i was the one who had to take him to activities and practices and games. perhaps it was the "little mommy" in me, but i couldn't just be his big sister. i had to take care of him too. i felt responsible for him. if he screwed up, it reflected on me. it was a strange sort of relationship for a sister and brother to be.

but then i went to college. and jesse started a new school in a new state, in a different world. from the suburbs of denver, to a small rural town in nebraska. both of our lives changed drastically. we both had a hard time making new friends, true friends, real friends. we were in new places, different places, with new lifestyles. we were confused, and hurt, and alone. and we slowly became fast friends again. we had each other when he had no one else. and that is what family is for.

he found himself in that little rural nebraska town. he found his voice. no one woudl ever guess he was that shy little boy that owuld cry when someone looked at him. he starred int he school musical, and sang in show choir. he joined the speech team, and ffa. he was nominted for prom king his senior year... perhaps he found his voice, but maybe it is because i wasn't there to speak for him. perhaps that was in there all along, and i was hindering it all those years. i guess we'll never know.

when we took jesse to college 3 years later, and saw the fear in his eyes as we pulled away, mom and i balled. how could we leave him, a state away, lost and afraid? when he called us 5 minutes later hiding in the bathroom, it about tore mom and i to pieces. if dad wasn't there, we would have turned around, packed the car back up and brought him home. but we had to let him grow.

he became my biggest supporter, and i his. we became friends again. when matthew and i were planning our wedding, i had to decide who would be my maid of honor. i had my lizzie, and my jennifer, and my april. but how could i pick between them? it didn't take me another 2 seconds to decide i wanted my brother to stand by me on my side, he was my brother after all, not matthews. and from there it was easy to decide who would be maid of honor. my brother. it only made sense to have our brothers flanking either side of us. supporting us, loving us, cheering us on. my brother was the only one who could fill those strappy heels perfectly. he was the only choice to have standing by me. i didn't make him wear a dress or heels,he would of had to shave his legs. he wore a tux that matched patricks... and everything seemed right

he is still my friend, and he is matthews too, and i am so blessed to have a brother that can also be my friend. i am so blessed to have a brother that cares about me, and shrugs off my bossy voice, and my whiny voice, and my loud voice. i am so lucky he can look past my faults, and i past his, and we can be friends, like many siblings will never will be.

and so, i don't mind when he has to stay at our hose when it snows...

jesse and melinda
june 22, 2007


  1. that background with the black and gray makes it really hard to read.

  2. shelby, i switched to that background because people said the old one was hard to read. people seemed to think this one was easier.

  3. Shelby - Seriously? That's all you got out of that? That the background is hard to read? This post is about ME! Get to know me! By reading this post! I am awesome!

    Anyway...Sissy, I love you...and I had to hold back tears while reading this...because I am at work...if I wasn't here, I would be crying...thank you.

    I am very blessed to have a sister who cares so deeply for me...even though you yell at me when I ask you what you are writing about...Haha!

  4. Just to clear the air...my previous comment to Shelby was sarcastic...I'm not really THAT mean...Sorry if it hurt you, Shelby! My biggest downfall is my sarcasm..I just want all of the attention for myself!

  5. jesse, you're a spaz.

  6. shelby, i changed it to an all black background... that is as good as i can do from work.


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